That's What They Say

Sometimes, when I don’t want to leave the house, I let my dog out the back unattended. Last night, she pooped in the walk way, off to one side. Over the next six weeks, I watched her feces decompose, running through every stage to total re-immersion into the earth.

Peanut says I need to get out more. She doesn’t say it like that, though, because it would be too cliché.

My analyst thinks I need to settle down and relax, concentrate on my psyche. At least, I think that’s what he thinks.

My best nonfriend thinks I should run away, like her. It does change things, always looking for the unknown, rather than looking at it.

I’m not so dissatisfied as everyone says I am, but they’re quite convincing.

I’ve got all the classic signs of an alcoholic, and it runs in my family. As much as a bad habit turned addiction can run in a family. We all have addictive personalities, I guess they would say. But they’re just making excuses, because everyone wants to be addicted to something.

I like to work out, do physically hard things, because I like to feel the difference between my mind and my body.

I drink the most when I drink by myself, and that’s when I think about death.

I was lying just then, but I thought it’d make me more intense; I thought you’d take me more seriously.

I actually think about death when I’m at parties full of people.

The homeless man outside my office holds a sign that says, “Homlee, Hungry,” and I actually envy him his honesty.

Peanut says I need a change. She says it’s time to cheer up, and be happy. But I didn’t know I wasn’t happy.

But perception is fleeting, and so are these thoughts.

Life Like Water

Sometimes life becomes like 8 feet of water. What you see is blurry, what you hear is muffled, and all you feel is the inside of your head. You concentrate all your energy on your motion, because if you stop, you'll float.