Things Become Automatic

My kitchen ceiling bows. When my roommate suggested it might be full of water from our overflowed toilet, I let out two loud guffaws and backed out of the kitchen.

The light cover over my bathroom sink is held on by a nut, which barely fits, but turns twice. After I replaced the light bulb last night, I brushed my teeth three feet away from the sink.

There's a mentally disabled man outside my metro stop, who comes really close when he asks for money in his one word sentences.  "Change," he says spasmodically.  I caught a glimpse of his eyes and my stomach gained twenty pounds.  So, I looked away.

I bought my first pair of running shoes last Christmas. I put them on and wondered why I waited seven years to bite the bullet.

Some people at my work talk about the people they meet in the countries they do stories in, others talk about whether the anchor is pregnant or not.

I'm teaching myself to think about money again, trying not to use my credit card. Now I ration myself shopping for things. This week I get to buy new make-up and mouthwash, next week household goods and groceries. Last week I splurged on clothes, which I hadn't done in a year. I don't remember becoming hard up.

I noticed today that the sore on my mouth is gone. I've had the same recurring sore for the past three years, but it goes away for a couple months during the winter. I think it's an iron deficiency. Better add vitamins to the shopping queue.

My favorite moment of the day is pulling my blanket over my shoulders, as I rub my legs up and down against the feather sack on my mattress.

When the cashier at Teaism frowned at me as I ordered my beer, I thought empathizing might make her smile. But she told me she had to work twice as hard as I did because she wasn't from my country. And my camaraderie with her only made her frown more deeply. I remember when I thought customers actually wanted to know when they asked me how I was. I didn't know I didn't want to know either.

I bought myself a brand new pair of ergonomic shoes, and the calluses began to soften right away.

I started giving money to the homeless again.