Intimacy

So I have a hard time accepting nurturing from others. Don't you know that I wasn't breast-fed? The most intimate thing that a human being will ever experience -- the mother's breast, the child's mouth -- this almost killed me. I learned at an early age how painful intimacy is . Poisoned by my mother, I turned to my father. I learned to love the cold, mechanical workings of the intellect -- distant, reliable, safe. Come to find out, safety is unsatisfying, isolating. Now I'm trying to figure out how to come back to nurturing -- how to turn the poison back into mother's milk.