"It Is What It Is"

What is it with this phrase? I first heard it at the restaurant I work in, among my co-workers, then from my bosses. I wondered where they got such a phrase, but I figured it was some kind of restaurant thing like "on the fly" or "86'd". Like it was their version of "let it go". Suddenly, however, I heard the phrase come out of more and more people. I started hearing it from my college friends and other people my age, too. So then I wondered if it was just another one of those passing generational things. Then I started hearing it from members of my parents' generation! What? I know how that generation easily picks up the words and phrases of my generation, but usually they sound foolish doing so. Not this phrase. They somehow own this phrase, saying it with deep feeling, wagging their heads. How has this meaningless piece of faux philosophy suddenly crept into the hearts of so many?

And what do they think they mean when they say it anyway? Are they saying "let it go" or "that's life" or "get over it" or "nothing makes any sense"? Are they trying to be existential or pragmatic? Allow me to reiterate, this sentence is meaningless. They are either saying that the thing has identity or simply that it exists. They may be trying to imply something of the existential or pragmatic flavor, but what they are saying is that that thing is itself. Somehow I doubt that they are contemplating existence when they say this, because they only apply this idea to all the bad things that happen in life.

My boss is incompetent and is firing the only useful person in my department.
Oh well, it is what it is.

Millions of people are dying from hunger, and we're using food to fuel our engines.
Well, it is what it is.

Women say they want nice guys, but then they only date assholes.
Ah yeah, it is what it is.

What are they implying here? "Well, there's no point feeling anything about this, because it exists." "Because this thing has identity, because it exists, it is unchangeable, and because this thing is unchangeable, there is no use thinking or feeling about it." How many assumptions go into this line of thought? First of all that every identity or everything that exists is unchangeable. Second of all, that when you think or feel something about a certain thing, you are trying to change it. This is ridiculous. You are doing neither. You are either trying to understand that thing or you are reacting to it. These two things have nothing to do with changing anything, so that even if you granted that they are saying what they think they are saying (well, you can't change it), it is still ridiculous.

Additionally, if you disregard all that reasoning and apply this crazy logic to anything, you can't just apply it to the bad events and situations. You have to apply it to the whole world, even the positive things.

"I won the lottery and gave half of the money to charity."
Hmm, it is what it is.

"My boyfriend proposed to me, and we're going to start a family."
Yeah, it is what it is.

"I've never been happier in my life."
Oh, it is what it is.

In these examples, the phrase finally reveals itself as the misguided crusader that it is. So I wish all these people would stop spitting this idiotic phrase as their catch-all for every bad thing they hear. If something bad happens, feel free to feel something. If you can have emotion about the good things, then you can have emotion about the bad. I wish the world would stop trying to delete half of itself. We need to go back to the good generational phrase that everyone once adopted: THIS SUCKS!



Let me just add, that every single time I hear this phrase, my skin doesn't just crawl. It feels like someone is taking a cheese grater to my back. There might be some irrational repulsion here as well.