In Love

The sky has been layered lately,
rippled.
How intuitive of it.

But it cannot convey the simultaneous stillness
and tumult inside me.
I am erratic and confused
as I sit,
arms holding legs
holding chest,
and wait.

Wait.

What am I waiting for? I can't
remember what I wanted.
Did I want something?
Music, The Microphones, emotion?

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

But wait,
wait.

What used to be
an irritated geyser
becomes soft gurgling curls.
I'm tired.

I'm so tired.

I don't want to give up, but
it's slow and I'm fast.
It's fast and I'm slow.

Something,
I feel something,
intensely.

Nothing,
I find nothing,
consistently.

I hate you, god love you.